4 Habits I Cultivated to Enhance My Leadership Skills and Well-Being

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Coping with the intensity of running a business — whether you’re a solopreneur, creator or leading a large company — can be physically and mentally taxing. Not only can heavy stress diminish your business success, but studies show it can take as much as three years off your life. As a creator and founder of a tech startup, this hit home for me a few years ago.

Between scaling a business and becoming a dad, I developed behaviors that were negatively impacting my sleep, concentration and overall wellness. One of my motivations for staying healthy includes being fit and able to do all the fun stuff as my kids grow up — dancing at their weddings, playing with grandkids (if they have them) or just keeping up with them at their own sports. It’s a goal I don’t want to put in jeopardy.

I’ve been reading more about healthspan — not just how long we live, but how long we live healthily — and I knew I had to make some changes. Like many, I looked to the usual suspects: exercise and diet. But it has also meant reexamining my relationship to other factors, including alcohol and screen time.

I’ve slowly been working on creating healthier habits in all of these areas. If I’ve learned anything, it takes a lot of trial and error to figure out what works and how to make good habits stick. So for any leader, creator or entrepreneur looking to make positive health changes for the long haul, here’s what worked for me (and what didn’t):

Related: 101 Good Habits for a Productive, Prosperous, Happy Life.

Embrace flexibility

For some people, going cold turkey on bad habits is the only way. For me, not so much. I figured out pretty quickly that I am not an all-or-nothing guy. As it turns out, when it comes to building new habits, top performers aim for consistency over perfection.

A flexible approach is how I’ve managed to almost entirely cut out alcohol, which was wreaking havoc on my sleep. How? By adopting a mantra: “Not tonight.” I told myself I was simply passing on drinking for now, not forever — and kept that going for months. If a good wine came my way, I allowed myself a few sips (which I don’t recommend if addiction is an issue). I was able to enjoy the satisfaction of a taste without staying awake all night.

I’m not alone in this approach. Focusing on personal exploration and incremental change versus strict rules is a hallmark of a growing sober curious movement. It’s exciting to see the benefits of elective sobriety being discussed more, as well as other leaders sharing their experiences on this path.

Gamify your goals

The healthcare gamification market is expected to hit $15.9 billion by 2030. Why? It’s an approach that works. Studies show that using a leaderboard to track your progress or receiving virtual gold stars for every milestone achieved can radically boost your motivation to keep going.

I’ll be the first to admit it: Drumming up motivation to work out before or after a long day of work can be tough. So using my Apple Watch was a great way to gamify exercise and challenge myself. I started small with just five minutes a day, then built up to 30 minutes five days a week. Seeing the success streak tracked on my watch kept me going (embracing flexibility also came in handy when my battery died and I had to start over).

I also found an app that helped gamify calorie tracking. Now, I’m not the type to live on greens and almonds, but gamifying my goal did prompt me to add more nutrient-dense foods to my diet (hello sardines for breakfast!). And that made all the difference in getting quick results.

Related: James Clear’s Atoms App Promises to Help Break Bad Habits and Create Better Ones — Here’s How It Works

Look to peer influence, research and communities

As the founder of a business that helps creators share their expertise with the world, it’s no surprise I’m a huge proponent of seeking out expert content, resources and learning communities to master new skills and supercharge accountability.

Following people who were doing what I wanted to be doing was a no-brainer. And research backs this up: Peers and social relationships can be powerful allies in building healthy habits.

For me, that meant adding health experts and authors to my media mix and digging deeper into the science behind habit changes. Leaders like Ray Dalio helped me see how the results could make me better in my role as a CEO, too.

Accept that not all strategies work (but only some have to)

I’m not going to pretend my journey has been entirely smooth. For every strategy I tried, there was at least one that didn’t work. It’s important to acknowledge that failure is as much a part of this process as success.

It’s also a reality that some behaviors are simply much harder to give up. This brings me to my current focus and what I’ve struggled with the most: reducing screen time. The evidence is clear that excess time on digital devices is as bad for adults as it is for kids, leading to sleep disruption, decreased physical activity and a higher risk of depression and anxiety.

Of course, like many, I work in a business that requires me to be online. That means going completely dark isn’t an option (or desirable, truthfully). Instead, I’m working to optimize my screen time by getting more intentional about the content I consume and when I consume it. I deleted the apps off my phone and strive to put it away in the evenings (at least until the kids are in bed), but I’ve also accepted that exceptions will be the norm in this case — and I think that’s okay, too.

Related: 8 Ways to Minimize Screen Time and Maximize Family Time

It’s been 10 years since I first started down the path of building healthier habits. My biggest takeaway for anyone looking to do the same is that this is a marathon, not a sprint — when habits are for life, you have to keep tweaking them as you go.

But there’s also been a silver lining that I didn’t see coming: equanimity. It’s that deep sense of calm in the face of stress and the quiet confidence that comes from being able to be the kind of leader (and person) I’ve always admired: centered, present and better able to handle whatever life — and business — throws my way.



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