Bullying is when someone misuses their authority or power inside a relationship. Bullying can be outside of a relationship too as this behavior knows no bounds. This behavior can inflict physical and emotional harm on others and often leaves the victim feeling helpless.
Today’s world has made it very easy for everyone to have an access to everybody and all information. There is no doubt that such access has made our lives easy, but it has also made it easier for anyone to bully whomever they want. Now, the bully does not need to have any physical access to you, they just need to know your name. Since we blindly believe everything that is posted on social media without verifying any facts, it has become an easy chore for these bullies to destroy someone’s image.
The term bully first surfaced in the 1600s, but bullying has been around much longer before that. Generally, this is an unwanted aggressive behavior that is very likely to be repeated.
Types Of Bullying
Before breaking into who can be a bully and what can be done to protect ourselves from them, it is very important to understand the types of bullying that are out there. Sometimes we are getting bullied and we do not even recognize it due to a lack of awareness.
Here are the kinds of bullying:
Physical Bullying
This involves violent acts such as hitting, kicking, or tripping. Anything that can inflict physical harm to you is included in physical bullying. Do not be mistaken because this is not a one-time act. Bullying behavior is repetitive. If they have done it once, it is highly likely that they will do it again.
Social Bullying
This is also known as relational bullying. Such bullies will go around spreading rumors and false news about you. They will deliberately leave you out of the group to make you feel isolated.
Verbal Bullying
As the name suggests, vernal bullying is when they try to inflict harm on you with their words. They will call you names, tease you for no reason and do whatever they can to disturb your peace with their words. Such type of bullying can take a big toll on your mental health.
Damaging Your Property
Sometimes the bullying behavior gets too extreme and when they cannot inflict any harm on you physically, they inflict damage to your property.
Who Is A Bully?
This is a point to ponder. What makes someone a bully? How can we identify a bully or bullying behavior before we take any measures to protect ourselves? Does everyone we have an argument with become a bully?
The simple answer to the last question is, No. Not everyone you argue with might be a bully. We all have our ups and downs and sometimes we do say things that we regret later on. What makes this behavior different from that of a bully is this regret of actions.
On the other hand, a bully is someone who does this out of habit. They are habitual to being rude and they enjoy inflicting harm on those people who they think are vulnerable.
Just like the types of bullying, there are also types of bullies.
Detached Bullies
Detached bullies well plan their moves. They are well-liked in their social circle because they like to maintain an image.
Bullied Bullies
These people turned towards being bullies because they themselves were bullied in the past. They will overpower their victims because it gives them satisfaction
Hyperactive Bullies
Such bullies do not know how to carry themselves or how to act in a social gathering. Hence they start inflicting harm by acting improperly. They may even inflict physical harm.
Social Bullies
Social Bullies do not have enough self-esteem so they start to manipulate others with their lies. They usually are the ones to start a mean gossip or a rumor.
How Do You Become A Bully?
We are all born white, black, or brown. With green eyes, blue eyes, or any other color but non of us is born a bully. This is a behavior that we learn over time.
The most common reason for becoming a bully is that these people were not or are not being given attention from their parents at home or their peers. They are more commonly children who were neglected in one way or another.
Sometimes, our role model is a bully and we learn this behavior from them. For example, our older siblings or parents can be a bully and since we view them as our role models, we learn this behavior from them. Some people are aggressive by nature but that does not mean that they are bullies also. Bullies do not feel any remorse for their actions.
Different Ways To Deal With A Bully
It is never easy to cope with all the unwanted bullying even when you have done nothing wrong. But doing nothing in return will only result in more intense bullying. There is no simple solution when it comes to bullying but keep in mind that there is only one goal, to stop the situation from de-escalating.
Ask Them To Stop
Asking the bully to stop is sometimes an effective measure to deal with them. Sometimes when we do not speak up for ourselves, the bullies continue with their behavior thinking of us as an easy targets. In this thought, they assume that we will never speak up to them and when we do speak up for ourselves. It takes them by surprise.
Telling them to stop in a firm and confident voice can make them reconsider their actions. This will work only if they have not yet established a pattern of bullying you. It is important to keep in mind that you are trying to de-escalate the situation. If you do not feel comfortable addressing the bully directly, you can always shift focus to the bystanders. You can Ask them questions like if they are going to allow the bully to do this. Or if they are only going to watch and do nothing.
Be Accompanied
Bullies usually hunt for people who are alone or have isolated themselves from their surroundings. If you are with your friends, or if you are in the company of someone, it is least likely that the bully will disturb you. We are not asking you to make a huge circle of friends, sometimes, all it takes is one loyal friend who will stay by you no matter what.
Ignore Them
Another effective measure to ignore a bully is by ignoring them. When you do not react to what they say or do no matter how hurtful it may be for you, they start to lose interest in you. They think of it as a game, and when they get an emotional response from you it satisfies their ego.
So if they get nothing, they will stop bothering you because they will know you are not an easy one to crack.
Turn The Situation Into A Joke
Some of us are born comedians and we can turn almost anything into a joke. If you are one of these people, try to take advantage of your gift. Turn the situation the bully has created into a joke or just say something funny. This will break the bully’s confidence and they will know that you are strong and sure about who you are. This will make them back-off
Powerful Anti-Bullying Quotes
When people hurt you over and over, think of them like sandpaper. They may scratch and hurt you a bit, but in the end, you end up polished and they end up useless
Chris Colfer
The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who look on and do nothing
Life is a fight, but not everyone’s a fighter. Otherwise, bullies would be an endangered species
Andrew Vachss
It is our choices…that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities
With ignorance comes fear – from fear comes bigotry. Education is the key to acceptance
Kathleen Patel
For me, I am driven by two main philosophies: know more today about the world than I knew yesterday and lessen the suffering of others. You’d be surprised how far that gets you
Neil deGrasse Tyson
All I wanted to do was go back inside to the library and read a book. I used to spend all my time reading books, or watching television. It was safe. Nobody ever was hurt or teased or looked stupid while reading books or watching television
Kathryn Magendie
Knowing what’s right doesn’t mean much unless you do what’s right
What if the kid you bullied at school, grew up, and turned out to be the only surgeon who could save your life? Lynette Mather
The test of courage comes when we are in the minority. The test of tolerance comes when we are in the majority
Bullying builds character like nuclear waste creates superheroes. It’s a rare occurrence and often does much more damage than endowment
Zack W. Van
What if the kid you bullied at school, grew up, and turned out to be the only surgeon who could save your life?
The common mistake that bullies make is assuming that because someone is nice that he or she is weak. Those traits have nothing to do with each other. In fact, it takes considerable strength and character to be a good person
Mary Elizabeth Williams
I would rather be a little nobody than to be an evil somebody
Often the right path is the one that may be hardest for you to follow. But the hard path is also the one that will make you grow as a human being
Karen Mueller Coombs
My pain may be the reason for somebody’s laugh. But my laugh must never be the reason for somebody’s pain
When you hold people up for ridicule, you have to take responsibility when other people act on it
Jay Asher
Bullying builds character like nuclear waste creates superheroes. It’s a rare occurrence and often does much more damage than endowment
If there are no heroes to save you, then you be the hero
Denpa Kyoshi
You will never reach higher ground if you are always pushing others down
By the time I came out, that kind of stopped it. The bullying stopped when I claimed myself and proved that I wasn’t afraid. A lot of it was when I was hiding when I was younger
Randy Harrison
You will never reach higher ground if you are always pushing others down
Courage is fire, and bullying is smoke
Benjamin Disraeli
Never do a wrong thing to make a friend – or keep one
The bullying was hideous and relentless, and we turned it round by making ourselves celebrities
Julian Clary
People try to say suicide is the most cowardly act a man could ever commit. I don’t think that’s true at all. What’s cowardly is treating a man so badly that he wants to commit suicide
Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else
Judy Garland
If they don’t like you for being yourself, be yourself even more
Taylor Swift
It is our choices … that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities
J.K Rowling
Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact
William James
The bullying stopped when I claimed myself and proved that I wasn’t afraid. A lot of it was when I was hiding when I was younger
He who knows others is wise. He who knows himself is enlightened
Lao Tzu
If there are no heroes to save you, then you be the hero
Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself
George Bernard Shaw
He who believes is strong; he who doubts is weak. Strong convictions precede great actions
Louisa May Alcott
He who believes is strong; he who doubts is weak. Strong convictions precede great actions
Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one
Eleanor Roosevelt
A lot of people are afraid to tell the truth, to say no. That’s where toughness comes into play. Toughness is not being a bully. It’s having backbone
You can have no dominion greater or less than that over yourself
Leonardo da Vinci
Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life, but define yourself
You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life
Winston Churchill
One’s dignity may be assaulted, vandalized and cruelly mocked, but it can never be taken away unless it is surrendered
People who say they don’t care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don’t care what people think
George Carlin
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent
Eleanor Roosevelt
Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life, but define yourself
Tim Fields
Bullying consists of the least competent most aggressive employee projecting their incompetence on to the least aggressive most competent employee and winning
Tim Field
You will never reach higher ground if you are always pushing others down
A lot of people are afraid to tell the truth, to say no. That’s where toughness comes into play. Toughness is not being a bully. It’s having a backbone
Robert Kiyosaki
Liston is like most big bullies, if you can stay away and make him miss for a few rounds he’ll get frustrated. Once you strip away that feeling of invincibility, he can be had
Rocky Marciano
I found one day in school a boy of medium size ill-treating a smaller boy. I expostulated, but he replied: ‘The bigs hit me, so I hit the babies; that’s fair.’ In these words he epitomized the history of the human race
Bertrand Russell
Anti-Bullying Movies To Watch
If you are feeling low or their actions are bothering you too much, you can always watch one of these movies and learn how the hero or heroine stood up to their bully. You never know, you might even learn a thing or two from them.
- Accepted (2006)
- Alena (2015)
- Bully (2001)
- An American Girl: Chrissa Stands Strong (2009 Video)
- Assassination Nation (2018)
- Big Bully (1996)
- After Lucia (2012)
- The Ant Bully (2006)
- Bridge to Terabithia (2007)
- Carrie (1976)
Recap
If things are escalating out of hand, remember that it is okay to talk to an adult about your feelings and what you are going through. If you know a friend who is facing such a situation, help them out. Take a stand for them and show them that you have their back. Your words can help build their confidence.
If you are someone who has bullied someone know that sometimes we tend to make other people the target of the frustration we feel. We want to inflict pain on others, the pain that we have felt. This is wrong on all levels. Talk to someone and discuss your feelings with them. Try to feel yourself in the place of the person you are bullying. How would you feel if someone did the same to you?
We all may be different, but we all deserve respect.
If you are struggling with a bully and do not know what to do, head over to this website to find help.
Also Read: 135+ Depression Quotes To Speed Up The Mental Recovery
