We are all engulfed with the thought of having fulfilling relationships. One’s that will bring some meaning to our lives and make us happy. We are so overwhelmed with finding true happiness that we often forget that true happiness lies within us.
Yes, that’s right. By now we have heard more than a million times that true happiness lies within ourselves. You have to love yourself first in order to love someone else. We have heard in countless pep talks that self-love is the foundation of a happy life. But have you ever wondered that with so many preachers of self-love, why haven’t we been able to love ourselves?
One of the reasons for our failure to love ourselves is that we have been taught to be selfless from the start of time. The minute we start thinking about ourselves, everyone around us makes it their personal mission to remind us of how selfish we are being. But there is nothing wrong with putting your needs and yourself first. Self-love is not selfish. It only helps us better understand which sacrifices are worth making!
Self-love is the root of all your healthy relationships. The stronger your roots are, the more difficult it will be for winds to knock down the branches. Before exploring this notion, it is very important to understand what self-love truly means. With such a thin line between being ruthless and self-loving, it is too easy to stumble on the darker side.
What Is Self-love?
I am certainly not going to paste an Oxford dictionary definition of what self-love is because what good would that be? I will, however, explain to you the essence of self-love. At the very of it lies the care and value one has for oneself. Self-love, in its essence, is to truly accept who you are and what your worth is. It is the art of building a compassionate relationship with your own soul.
Love yourself first, and everything else falls in line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world
Lucille Ball
The Fundamentals Of Self-Love
To fully understand what self-love is, let’s explore the fundamentals or you can say the key elements that contribute to it.
Self Acceptance
The first important key element of self-love is self-acceptance. You have to truly accept who you are. And by acceptance, I do not mean just your strengths, you have to recognize your weaknesses too. They are a part of you. They make you who you are.
The moment you accept yourself, you become beautiful
Osho
All your imperfections, your insecurities, and your perfections come together to build your personality. We cannot nitpick parts of us to love and ignore. The core of self-acceptance is to be authentic with yourself. So I would advise you to look through the window of your soul and accept all the colors that you see. No matter how dark or grim they might be!
Self-Compassion
It is a good thing to be compassionate about your environment but in the process, don’t forget to be compassionate with yourself too. Forgive yourself for the mistakes that you make, the goals that you fail, or whenever you face a setback. Treat yourself with the same level of empathy you would offer to someone you love the most.
You’ve been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens
Louise L. Hay
Self-Care
We are taught to care for everyone around us, and to look after each other but has anyone of us ever asked ourselves who we should be caring for the most in the world? Our parents? Family Friends? Relations? I will tell you a simple answer: Ourselves!
Every one of us needs to show how much we care for each other and, in the process, care for ourselves
Princess Diana
The expectation of waiting for someone else to care for you is delusional. Only you can care for yourself the most in a way nobody else can. Look after your relations but do not forget to look after yourself. You can only give something that you have in abundance. Think about it.
Self-Love And Relationships- Why One Cannot Work Without The Other?
Self-love and healthy relationships cannot be separated. Self-love is the very core of any healthy relationship. Now you might wonder how my love for myself is going to make me able to have a healthy relationship. Isn’t a healthy relationship all about giving? Honestly, No.
Boundaries
First and foremost, when you know your worth, you know what you are willing to accept in a relationship and what not. You will know where to draw boundaries because you value your own opinions. You will have a clear understanding of what you need, what are your values, and your limits.
You have to love and respect yourself enough to not let people use and abuse you. You have to set boundaries and keep them, let people clearly know how you won’t tolerate being treated, and let them know how you expect to be treated
Jeanette Coron
Conflict Resolution
Self-love plays a very important role in conflict resolution in a relationship. When one truly love themselves, they have a healthier understanding of everything. They have more confidence and self-esteem to be able to voice their opinions.
Self-confidence is contagious
Stephen Richards
Healthy Partner Choice
Self-love also contributes to choosing an emotionally healthy partner. When you have higher self-esteem, you tend to avoid any toxic relationship. You do not settle for less because you know what you deserve because you know your worth.
These small things – nutrition, place, climate, recreation, the whole casuistry of selfishness – are inconceivably more important than everything one has taken to be important so far
Friedrich Nietzsche
Emotional Availability
You can be only emotionally available when you do not have inner conflicts. When you are constantly fighting your own feelings, it leads to confusion and frustration, and a lack of availability emotionally for your partner. Empathy stems from self-love.
Emotional Makeup is more important than technical skill
Warren Buffett
When you have the capacity to take care of your own emotions, you become emotionally stable. This stability allows you to better empathize with and understand your partner’s experiences and emotions. Due to this, you can offer them genuine care and support
Recap
So now you know that self-love and healthy relationships are practically inseparable. One cannot thrive without the other because they depend on each other for fulfillment and growth. They are interconnected with your happiness because self-love will motivate you to have better boundaries, a healthier understanding of your own self, and better emotional intelligence.
So it is really true when they say that:
Realize that true happiness lies within you. Waste no time and effort searching for peace and contentment and joy in the world outside. Remember that there is no happiness in having or in getting, but only in giving. Reach out. Share. Smile. Hug. Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself.
Og Mandino
Also Read: Rising Above Fear: Strategies For Conquering Anxiety and Achieving Your Goals
