The Journey Beyond Grief: Energy Medicine Tools for Letting Go
By Andrea Torrey Balsara
For those of us who’ve experienced deep trauma, inner peace can be elusive. The aftereffects of trauma can leave us feeling small and isolated, trapped in grief, rage, and despair. I grew up with undiagnosed PTSD from buried trauma and only remembered being molested at five by a trusted family friend when I was in my early 20s. I had all the hallmarks of sexual abuse–violent nightmares, erratic behavior, suicide ideation, and an eating disorder–but in the 70s they hadn’t realized what those symptoms meant. I sought comfort through spirituality, writing and illustrating, and about five years ago discovered energy medicine. It’s been a decades-long journey of learning how to release deep grief from my body.
When something precious is lost—whether it’s a loved one, or in my case, the innocence of childhood—it’s hard to let it go. Grief shrouds every part of us with dust, smothering joy, light, and colour, turning life bleak and grey.
How do we release it?
First, we must want to release it. Grief, like any other emotion, can become part of our identity and its familiarity can feel safer than facing the unknown of healing. When we are ready to take that first brave step, however, there are things we can do to make it easier. Below are exercises I use:
Neurovascular Holds: When grief weighs heavy, the first thing I do is to let myself feel it. But to help it move through, I place one hand on my forehead, and the other on the top of my head. These areas access neurovascular points that store emotions. By holding those areas lightly, while breathing deeply, energy is helped to flow.
As waves of grief wash over me, I hold and breathe through them. Gradually, the intensity softens, and the energy shifts. At this point I often feel an intense heat, which although uncomfortable, means stagnant energy is releasing. As it subsides, I sense energy pulsating between my hands like a spinning disk. If you don’t feel this, it’s okay. There are many other signs that energy has moved. Some people yawn, others sigh. Look for your body’s unique way of release. In energy medicine, grief is thought to be held in the lungs, and so as grief moves, you may find yourself taking deep breaths, perhaps deeper than you have for a long time. Keep your hands in place a little longer and feel your lungs expand, taking in beautiful, healing air.
“Lung Hug:” Another technique I use involves crossing my arms over my chest. Tucking my fingers under my armpits, I rest my thumbs on top, on the “arm crease” where my arm meets my chest. Using firm pressure, I massage the area below my armpits and along the arm crease. Those areas encompass the start point of the Lung meridian as well as the end point of the Spleen meridian, the meridian that is all about self-care. These points are often sore from stuck energy. While not bruising yourself, rub those areas as deeply as you can, breathing as you do (if you have other reasons for soreness, such as an injury, or if this doesn’t feel right for you, listen to your body. Even holding the area mindfully, with no pressure, will do wonders). Afterwards, you can sit in this position, known as the “Lung Hug,” and meditate or watch TV, or just do nothing. Having a cross-over pattern over your chest (in this case, your crossed arms) helps energy move.
Heart Visualization: In addition to the lungs, the heart also carries grief. As most of us know all too well, hearts can be broken. What we forget is that they can also heal. When my heart feels heavy with grief, I cross my hands over it and breathe in. With each breath, I envision drawing in light, until my heart lifts and feels luminous. Then, with each exhale, I visualize my heart radiating light outward into the world. Breathing in light, exhaling light.
Activating Joy: The simplest exercise I do to activate joy is smile. When grief cuts into me, I take a deep breath and smile, a deep-from-the-roots smile, and visualize it radiating through my whole body. If the grief is too deep to initially smile, I list things I am grateful for. As I breathe, find my smile, and make my list, the heaviness shifts. A heart-felt smile activates the Radiant Circuits, an energy system all about joy, connection, and healing. To boost the smile even more, I trace a heart over my heart with both hands, from my sternum down to my belly button, as many times as I need to. Tracing a heart over my heart, face, or around me as if tracing a giant heart, activates the Bridge Flow, a specific Radiant Circuit that reconnects us with our true self and with others.
Growing Roots and Touching Heaven: Walking barefoot outside can be a quick way to release the fog of grief. Standing in grass or sand, I wiggle my toes, feeling the earth below my feet (if walking barefoot isn’t possible, I use a cheap metal spoon—not silver—and vigorously rub the bottom of my feet with it). For an extra connection, I rub my hands together, lay them on my thighs, and visualize energy running through my feet and rooting deep into the earth. With an inhale, I sweep my arms overhead into a “V.” This pose is called “Heaven Rushing In,” and draws replenishing energy into the body. When I feel filled, I place my hands over my heart. 
Finding the Gift Within Grief: To find inner peace, we must recognize that we are more than our grief or our past experiences. We are conscious beings on the brink of a new way of living. I believe that within every wound lies a hidden gift, guiding us to our higher selves. What gifts does grief offer? Among them, greater compassion for ourselves and others, a capacity for deep joy, and a desire to live with purpose. Grief offers us much if we allow it to move through us, and let it go. Though difficult days will still come, an abiding joy can become our companion on our journey beyond grief.
Bio:
Andrea Torrey Balsara, author and illustrator for children (writing as A.T. Balsara for young adults,) is set to release the second edition of her award-winning YA novel, The Great & the Small, in September 2024. This edition, available for pre-order, portrays her personal journey from darkness to light through the protagonist’s eyes. Alongside her writing & illustrating, Andrea engages in school presentations and motivational speaking. She is currently pursuing certification as an Eden Energy Medicine practitioner and is working towards becoming a Reiki Master. Her energy medicine work extends to both people and animals, and she volunteers at a donkey sanctuary, where she aids in rehabilitating sickly or abused donkeys. For more on Andrea’s books, speaking engagements, and energy medicine resources, visit www.torreybalsara.com. Connect with her on Instagram (@andreatorreybalsara), X (@torreybalsara), LinkedIn (AndreaTorreyBalsara) and Facebook (Andrea Torrey Balsara, Author & Illustrator).
