Note: This is a guest post from Karen Trefzger of Maximum Gratitude, Minimal Stuff.
Contrary to popular belief, minimalism isn’t a numbers game. It’s not about owning fewer than 100 things or a 33-piece wardrobe.
Numbers like that can turn minimalism into a competition, which is all wrong. That habit of comparison is what makes us try to keep up with the Joneses. It’s what pushes us to buy the latest and greatest, even if we don’t need it, even if we can’t afford it, simply so we’ll fit in and gain respect.
The comparison trap is the last place we want to end up.
Minimalism is about figuring out what matters to you and then getting rid of things that steal your money, time, and talents away from that. Each of us will have different answers to what’s most important, so our versions of minimalism will look different. In fact, my minimalism today, as half of a long-married couple nearing retirement, looks different from what it did 18 years ago, when I was homeschooling two teens, working as a bookkeeper, directing a choir, and performing as a classical singer.
Minimalism is not about rules.
Minimalism is for everyone —single location-independent entrepreneurs, families with little kids, seniors looking to downsize, and everyone in between. Minimalism is for everyone, but it’s not one-size-fits-all. It’s not about rules, it’s about you.
Your version of minimalism will be unique to you. It depends on what you value, what your goals are, and what your family, job, and lifestyle are like.
The only “requirement” to minimalism is that you identify what’s important to you and what you care about most. Then remove the things that aren’t necessary or valuable to you, and the things that distract you or prevent you from having or being what you most desire. You can’t get minimalism wrong if you’ve done that.
As life and circumstances change, your priorities and values may change too, which means your minimalism may look different. You might want to minimize even more, or a new situation might require a few more things, or you might need to accommodate the activities of a family as well as your own.
It’s still minimalism. There are no minimalist police to punish you for owning “too much,” or minimalist awards for owning the least.
It can be helpful to read about choices made by other minimalists, what they’ve learned, what their stumbling blocks and their successes have been, and what tips they have to share. I hope my blog and my books can be resources like that, full of encouragement, insight, and inspiration to try something you haven’t thought of before. You won’t copy me, but you might learn about or even disagree with something that helps you craft your own version of a minimalist life.
How to start
What if you’re new to the idea of minimalism, and feeling a bit overwhelmed without a set of hard-and-fast rules to follow? Or what if you’ve been decluttering and getting less busy for a while, but aren’t sure how much further you want (or need) to go?
It helps to ask questions, get clear about what kind of minimalist you want to be, and decide what you need to do to achieve it.
We’re all crafting a life. We’re motivated by sticks, carrots, and an ideal of comfort and satisfaction.
3 questions to uncover your unique brand of minimalism
1. What’s your stick?
What brought you to minimalism in the first place? What’s your motivation for seeking a simpler life? What needs fixing?
- Are you tired of cleaning and organizing and never seeing much difference for long?
- Are you overwhelmed by your schedule and responsibilities?
- Are you sick of spending most of your free time dealing with your possessions, and want more time and energy for family, friends, hobbies, your career, or something else?
- Are you moving, and need to streamline before you start packing everything up?
- Are you facing a major life change—marriage, divorce, a new baby, a new career or business, retirement—and you need freedom and focus to move ahead?
- Are you appalled at the waste generated by the typical consumerist lifestyle?
- Are you feeling trapped by debt?
- Are you feeling stressed, anxious, or even depressed, and want something better than just gritting your teeth and getting through each day?
There are many reasons you might be attracted to minimalism, and understanding yours helps you figure out what you want to accomplish by paring down. You can get clear about your minimalist goals.
I had several reasons to learn about minimalism almost 30 years ago. My husband and I wanted to get a handle on finances so we could live on one salary while I homeschooled our young children, we were feeling overrun by toys, and I needed to break a bad habit of binge shopping and purging.
Reminding yourself of your “why” can help you when you get bogged down with decluttering, feel conflicted about getting rid of something, or struggle to say no.
2. What’s your carrot?
Joshua Becker has defined minimalism as “the intentional promotion of the things we most value, and the removal of anything that distracts us from it.” That’s a great open-ended definition, but it means that to become minimalist, we must understand what we value most. What do you hope to gain from minimalism?
Take time to think and get very clear about this. Maybe you value:
- quality time with your family
- attention and focus for your career
- finances and freedom to travel
- leisure for a favorite hobby
- energy to devote to an important cause
… or something else.
For me, all those years ago, I wanted to give my best talents and ideas to raising and educating my children. When they got a bit older, I concentrated on my career in music, particularly operatic performance. Today I want to focus on writing the best content I can offer for my readers, while still having plenty of time for my grandsons. And I’ve always wanted a neat, clean, comfortable home and healthy meals without spending a large portion of my time struggling to manage it. Minimalism has made it possible.
What are you trying to make more time and space for by embracing minimalism? What do you care most about that a simpler life can make possible? Write it down so you can remind yourself when old habits try to creep back.
3. What does comfort look like to you?
As you go through the process of decluttering and simplifying, you need to figure out what enough looks and feels like for you. How will you know you’ve arrived at the sweet spot—that satisfying place the carrot and stick were guiding and goading you toward? This destination is important, because you need to let go of everything beyond it.
Only you will know what enough is for you. Some people decide that enough is owning less than 100 possessions. Others decide their place of enough is much more than that.
Enough means:
- keeping the things that add value to your life because you use them regularly and/or they make you happy
- getting rid of the excess
This is a personal decision, but it won’t be set in stone. It’s a good idea to challenge and reevaluate your ideas every so often. For one thing, it keeps life interesting to make experiments and learn about yourself. For another, it reminds you to keep resisting the loud and demanding voices of our culture, the ones that say more is always better.
Your perfect number
Minimalism isn’t a numbers game, but there is a number that’s just right for you. Whether that Goldilocks situation requires just two sets of sheets for each bed, one television, or an attractive capsule wardrobe, finding it is going to give your life the freedom and focus you’ve been looking for.
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Karen Trefzger is a writer, singer, teacher, wife, mother, and grandmother who has been choosing a simpler life for over 20 years. She is the author of several books about minimalism, and blogs at Maximum Gratitude, Minimal Stuff.
