Even though we’re told we shouldn’t care what other people think of us, deep down, many of us still do. Wanting to be accepted and loved is natural, and it can be devastating to hear someone talk badly about us behind our backs.
However, hearing someone say nice things about us when they don’t think we’re listening can be incredibly uplifting. One mother recognizes that, which is why she routinely “forgets” to hang up on her daughter-in-law.
A Secret Good Deed
A mother-in-law made sure to make her daughter-in-law feel special
Photo by Dario Valenzuela on Unsplash
Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationships can have a bad reputation. Many accounts of power struggles and differing points of view in the media and online set the tone for how some people expect these connections to be. But that’s not always the case, and this mother-in-law proves it.
Recently on Reddit, someone asked what secrets people are hiding that they would be willing to share online. A user named Kindly-Article-9357 had the best response: she was secretly uplifting her daughter-in-law.
“I’ve started to on occasion ‘accidentally’ (but on purpose) not hang up my phone correctly when getting off a call with my daughter-in-law,” she shared. “I then proceed to talk to my husband about how much I enjoy talking to her, how lovely I think she is, how glad I am that our son chose her, and whatever other boost I may think she needs.”
A Chosen Family
According to the woman, her daughter-in-law doesn’t have any family that uplifts her, and historically, that tears her down. So she decided to uplift the woman with these calls. It all started because she had accidentally butt-dialed her daughter-in-law one day and didn’t realize it when she began talking about her.
“I started doing this after my son told me about his wife coming to him in full-on snot tears,” she recalled of the experience. “She stayed on the line to hear what I ‘really’ thought of her, expecting the worst because that’s been her experience of family. Apparently, she was quite touched by the things I said, and my son told me it gave her a confidence boost that lasted weeks.”
Now, the woman uses age to her advantage to continue making the couple feel good.
“So I do it more often now. Neither of them have any idea I do it on purpose, though. They just think I’m getting old and worse at managing my tech,” she added.
Leading By Example
According to the woman, she was inspired to foster a positive relationship with her son’s wife after her own experiences dating a man with a terminally ill mother.
“She had this calm serenity about her that I think only comes from making peace with your own death,” she added in the comments. “*She* treated me like her own daughter, and it made me feel so seen and accepted. It is her example that I try to follow with my own kids and their spouses.”
The story touched many in the comments, especially those who wished their own relationships with their in-laws were stronger and people who said they could use a boost like that themselves.
“As a girl who grew up feeling like a failure and a burden, this makes me cry. You’re a wonderful MIL and the world needs more people like you,” one person shared.
Speaking With Kindness
It’s one thing to speak nicely about others when they’re listening, but it’s a whole other thing when someone overhears you speaking kindly about them. It’s validating and uplifting and something we can easily do for one another in life without much effort.
We don’t need to fake hang-ups to uplift others. Speaking kindly about family members, children, friends, or coworkers on the regular increases the chances they might overhear you. Not only that but it’s been scientifically proven that others may begin to see you as having the same positive traits that you’re talking up about someone else.
No one ever really knows what someone else is going through, and your words may one day be the boost a person needs. At the very least, you can feel good about yourself for doing your part to be kind and to make your corner of the world a warmer, safer place.
*Featured image contains photos by Karolina Kaboompics
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